Learning to ask for help

Learning to ask for help

Living with myasthenia gravis (MG) has changed so much about how I function day to day. When my symptoms first started, there were so many things I could no longer do, and it was devastating. I used to be able to walk from camp to the rodeo grounds, no problem. Now, I struggle with every step, and it frustrates me more than I can express. I want to be able to help my daughter with her horse, like giving her a leg up or helping her with her chaps, but my muscles get too tired too quickly. It embarrasses me when people ask for help, and all I can say is, "Sorry, I can’t." I hate feeling like I’m letting others down, and I’m terrified people see me as lazy because I physically can't do what I used to.

The exhaustion is constant. Lately, I can barely get out of bed. I’m not sleeping at night, which only makes things worse. It's a vicious cycle, and I’m trapped in it. My house is falling apart around me because I can't keep up with the chores. I can’t even get the laundry downstairs without it draining me, and just thinking about folding it exhausts me. The kitchen never gets clean anymore because the continuous movements weaken my arms to the point where I just can’t keep going.

I want to ask for help, but I don’t know how. Every time I think about explaining what I'm going through, I feel like I’m whining or complaining, and I don’t want to be that person. But the truth is, I need help, and I need to find a way to express that without feeling guilty about it.

Maybe I need to start by being honest with the people around me. I don’t need to unload every frustration, but I can explain that MG is unpredictable, and it limits what I can do physically. I can let them know that when I say "I can't," it's not because I don’t want to help—it's because I physically can’t without risking more exhaustion and weakness. It’s okay to admit that I need help, and I think I need to learn that for myself before I can expect others to understand.

But right now, I just feel like I'm stuck in this place where I’m constantly apologizing for things out of my control, and it’s wearing me down. Hopefully, I can figure out how to talk about this in a way that doesn't make me feel like I'm complaining, but instead helps others understand what I’m going through. I need to let go of the guilt and accept that asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness—it's just a part of living with this condition.